Monday, December 14, 2009
Menjadi ibu dizaman yang serba moden ini memang banyak cabarannya, apa lagi kalau kita sebagai ibu yang berkerja. Kemelut masa, ekonomi semasa, emosi dan kesihatan kekadang datang serentak menerjah ke fikiran lalu menghasilkan sebuah keluhan yang panjang. Pulang kerja penuh keletihan membuatkan kita memikirkan cara yang sangat mudah bagaimana nak mengisi perut seisi keluarga…apalagi beli saja lah!. Hari pertama ..hari kedua…masuk hari ketiga serasa ada sesuatu yang tidak kena walau pun kita agak menang dari segi masa. Kelihatan anak-anak tidak menikmati, terasa ada sesuatu yang tertinggal untuk kita lakukan pada mereka…jika di bandingkan reaksi wajah mereka ketika menikmati hidangan dari air tangan kita sendiri…jelas kelihatan mereka akan menambah nasi beberapa kali, suatu suasana tenang dan kaih terasa bila melihat mereka makan dengan penuh nikmat. Dan tidur mereka selepas menyelesaikan kerja rumah mereka pun lebih lena. Masa berlalu, ruang untuk menikmati sebernarnya terlalu singkat…inilah saat saat yang satu ketika nanti akan mereka rindui. Kerana ingin mencapai sebuah kepuasan bersama satu agenda makan bersama hidangan hasil air tangan ibu itu satu kemestian. Walau dalam seribu sukar…jadikanlah ia sebahagian dari terapi stress setelah pulang bekerja ada sesuatu yang kita kejar untuk dihidangkan kepada anak-anak dan suami sebagai tanda kasih kepada mereka. Dengan keikhlasan itu, air tangan kita semakin menjadi, penyatuan kasih saying kita semakin bererti. Tidak hairanlah hari ini adik-adik saya tidak pernah jemu pulang ke rumah kerana ibu saya sangat bijaksana mengikat mereka dengan ikatan kasih dari air tangannya semenjak kami kecil dahulu.
KEKALKAN KASIH SAYANG SEJATI MELALUI AIR TANGAN KITA SEBAGAI IBU....IBU KAU RATU HATIKU....
The Story of My Heaven on Earth
When I decided to marry my man…
I planned to have a life like a heaven on earth
Comprises of all love and tender care
Full of tolerance and understanding
Communicate and negotiate
Happiness for both…me and my man!
I still can remember…
His status and background is not a matter
His look and money is not important
His property and family is not grant to invest with me…
Looking into the heart…
Kind heart with full of sincerity…
Loving heart with humbleness…
Caring heart with empathy and sympathy
That all I need…to be with me .
In my Heaven on earth.
In this heaven on earth.
Full of God blessing of love and prosperity..
I managed to buy two own car
I managed to buy two own house
I managed to plan various special vacations everywhere
I managed to pay all hospital bills for my babies
As all clothes...furniture...perfumes… and our favorite eating out!
So members in my Heaven on Earth…
Can wears good…smells good…comfortable living and good eating…
All kind of enjoyable life! All and all…
I felt a weird feeling in the middle of a night
Feel so alone in the middle of efforts of gaining happiness
Awake…alert and keeps awaits
And came to realize that…
As money is gone…happiness is untouchable..
I am lost…I am stuck in full of disguise and sorrows
Surrounded by life jigsaw puzzle of him..
Question and question…I asked him..
He kept avoiding me from time to time
UNTIL ONE DAY…...
It fell in the most busy day..
Busy with University 10 thousands grand programme
The day when I received a call from someone
Someone with kind heart storied me about everything..
It was like big tsunami in my heart….felt so dark surrounding me
My heart and souls both were flying nowhere…
Ohhh God at last…this is the answer you give me
All my prayers being answered tragically by god..
The entire question behind the life puzzles being exposed.
I AM ONLY HUMAN…
I do admit that I don’t have any strength..
To accept the truth of being cheated by someone I love
The love I build and cherish all night and day…
In tears…I pray in my heart…
God please help me…help me to go trough all this
Please God…be with me…be with me…be with me..
YES again God Answer me clearly…
I can confront him nicely…
Why my love being should repays by this way?
My human heart sight looks at him…
I tried to put my self in his shoes again…
He is only human…human often make mistake
Human should understand more about human..
Next to him is my children, my future, my own grand assets of life
With tears I confessed in my heart…why me?
Why me to alter the correction if it is not be chosen by GOD
Is there any about my specialty?
My heart saying out with a slow tone and soft voice ..
You always help other people…many of them are happy..
How about the one you love...the one who are really closed to you..
Is this another challenge for me…
I accept my fate to be with this obstacle..
With full hope and high expectation..
And I always aware….GOD is there to help me..
I persuade my heart…I calm my soul..
I cure my own broken heart...notice all sweet memories between us…
Finding all part of chances of happiness
Family, friends, hobbies, work, travel and so on
Struggle hard in along dark way…
Hope to end the sadness, to forget the past and give people new hope and chance
Build to believe again…
Money is no more big matters…
Anything as alternative to cure will be used at any price
Too enthusiasm to forget the black shadow of darkness
At the time it is almost done
At the time I feel a new fresh breath
At the time I thought the new my man..
I almost lost my marriage as an exchange with talaq with the nonsense thing..
At the middle of a night…He admitted on his relapse..
At the middle of a long journey to see my kids and parents
He almost left me…just like that...too submissive in a wrong way
GOD…what is another great test for me…
In a cold and shivering night…I became speechless and stuck in thinking
Kept asking my self.. “What should I do My Dear God?”
God answered me…my heart saying and persuading me…
YOU ARE INCHARGE PERSON
DON’T EASILY FOLLOW HIS WAY
MAKE HIM FOLLOW YOUR WAY
Then I begging him…begging him for my children not for my love
My children need him as a father …as a leader...as a guardian
Console him…persuade him...forget at all about my own feeling and right
Right as a woman, right as a wife, right as a lover, as a friend…..
I am INCHARGE PERSON in my own too emotional situation
Too hard…too tough…too complicated…too painful inside me
No one knows…I cried alone until today..
No one knows…I cannot forget the hurt in my heart
No one knows….I am too tired of this entire thing…
My love towards him is faded away…my trust is no more there
Happiness is there outside …just to choose which kind of happiness I want
People said if happiness is outside home…home are already broken!
I Just want to continue living…as LIVE GOES ON
What is the ending?...GOD KNOWS
But at the time I write all these…my heart is HAPPY
HAPPY with my own world and definition of HAPPINESS
May GOD still want to bless me…